Ah. Where it all began. I want to say that I’m proud of these episodes. I think I am, even though I’m embarrassed by them. I’m glad people still enjoy them, though. For a first season of a web review series, it’s not too bad. I wasn’t really sure where I was going when I started, I was just kind of playing with whatever ideas I thought would work for a funny episode, and mostly reviewing campy monster movies. The Things hadn’t quite come into play yet, except for voices in the background that would eventually evolve into their characters (they only actually physically appeared on screen briefly in the final episode of the season), and there was no real ongoing story in the background. Some people may prefer it that way, but I like having original sketch material to work with as well as riffs for the movie that I’m reviewing. That being said, please enjoy the awkward beginnings of Evil Steve At The Movies.
Episode 1: Silver Bullet
Original Air Date: 5/11/2012
This wasn’t a bad first episode of a series. I still will walk out of the room if someone puts it on, but I think I did okay for a very first attempt. Silver Bullet was the very first horror movie that I have a memory of seeing. I was probably about 3 or 4 at the time, and it also sparked my love of werewolves. I can’t count how many times I had my mom rent this movie for me at the video store. I couldn’t think of a better film to start the series off with.
Episode 2: Razorback
Original Air Date: 5/17/2012
Remember how I said that Silver Bullet was the first horror film I ever saw? Well, I’m almost positive that’s true. If it wasn’t that, then it was Razorback. I saw it when I was very young, and didn’t see it again until it was on Cinemax one day when I was about 11 or so, and I taped it, and proceeded to watch the ever loving fuck out of it after that. I even worked the razorback into a choose your own adventure book that I wrote. The name of the book was “Park of The Danged” which would be changed to “Park of The Screwed” when I rewrote it in my teen years. Yeah, I was so clever. But anyways, I never really saw or heard much of this movie in the mainstream, or even saw any reviews online for it, so I was excited to talk about one of my favorite horror films from my childhood for my second episode, while simultaneously cracking jokes about it.
Episode 3: Darkwolf
Original Air Date: 6/3/2012
I was fucking pissed when I first saw this movie. I first saw it around 03 or 04, when I was going on a mission to find new werewolf films. Ginger Snaps was the diamond in the rough that came out of that search, and just about everything else was either “eh” or “Dear God, what the fuck was that?” This movie clearly fell into the latter category. Until this point I had never seen anything as horrendous as the CGI transformation in this movie. I literally did not believe that any CGI that looked that bad could end up in a final film. The film was horrid all around, but that scene in particular is what broke me when I first saw it. But anyways, as for the episode, I was pretty happy with it when I made it, but looking back all I think is “dear God, I could have cut 10 minutes out of this fucking episode”. To this day, this remains my longest episode, clocking in at nearly 33 minutes.
Episode 4: Antichrist
Original Air Date: 6/19/2012
Sooooo…this is what I consider to be my worst episode. I had a problem with pacing when I first started (see my Darkwolf episode), but this…this was something else. It’s a couple of minutes shorter than my Darkwolf episode, but it feels twice as long. There are overly long sequences of no jokes or narration whatsoever, including a long sketch I do at the start of the episode which falls on its fucking face with one of the weakest punchlines I’ve ever written. There are a few bits in here which I do still enjoy (the Cannibal Corpse joke, the scissors and raisin bit, and the laughter clips in response to the talking fox), but those were the jokes I thought of before watching the movie that made me say “Hey, I should review Anti Christ, that’ll make a hilarious review!”. Well…those turned out to be the only good jokes. I also played with the idea of changing the opening song occasionally for episodes, as the song that plays in the intro is called “King Antichrist”, but I never did that again. Because it was stupid. So I just ended up sticking with using songs for the ending credits, as that made much more sense. If you watch this episode, I do really hope you can get some enjoyment out of it. Some people do, as I still get occasional positive comments on Youtube about it, but if you think it blows please don’t feel bad about slamming it. I’ll probably join in the conversation and talk to you about how much it sucks.
Episode 5: A Serbian Film
Original Air Date: 7/10/2012
This was probably the main reason that I decided against making my review show exclusively about werewolf movies; because I knew I wanted to talk about this movie too. It’s also interesting to note that this is what I consider to be my best episode of the first season of Evil Steve At The Movies, which immediately follows what I consider to be my worst. The only thing I would change about it now, honestly, is how long I drone on about why I don’t find the film as disturbing as most people do. That goes on for 5 minutes, which only should have gone on for about 1 minute. But aside from that, I feel it’s pretty solid in terms of pacing, jokes, and analysis. There isn’t much else I can talk about here that you can’t hear either in my review, or in my commentary on the review, so if you haven’t seen my review of this creepy movie yet, go ahead and take a look see.
Episode 6: Carnosaur
Original Air Date: 7/18/2012
Here’s another one of my favorites from when I was a kid. I saw these movies out of order, seeing Carnosaur 2 when I was 11, which was actually taped from Cinemax for me by my mom (because she knew I loved dinosaurs) on the same tape that I ended up taping Razorback on. That movie stood out a lot to me, mainly because of the gore: I had never seen anything like that, let alone in a dinosaur movie. When someone got their arm ripped off in that movie it didn’t cut away and then cut back, it fucking SHOWED it. Well…that one chick, at least. And the dude at the end who had his head ripped off by the T Rex. But it affected me. I ended up buying the VHS of the original Carnosaur at Media Play (remember Media Play?) and loved it even more than the first. Sure it was cheesy as fuck but…shit, these dinosaurs didn’t fuck around. I never saw dinosaurs tear people apart like that, and I thought it was fucking awesome. I even would end up drawing a Carnosaur 4 comic book a couple years after Carnosaur 3 came out, which didn’t really consist of much of a story, just a bunch of scenes of dinosaurs graphically dismembering people. But this was another series I had in mind when I started Evil Steve At The Movies that I couldn’t wait to talk about. I would like this episode a lot more except for the fact that about half way through the voice over work I started drinking beer. Near the end of the episode, as I continued drinking and editing, I ended up quite shit faced, but didn’t realize how bad I sounded until the episode was already completed (right around the point where Doc is fighting the T Rex in the Bobcat you can really start to hear how drunk I am). So nowadays, even though I may drink while I write, or drink while I’m filming my on screen bits, I always stay as sober as I can for the voice over work.
Episode 7: Sick Girl
Original Air Date: 8/1/2012
This was the first episode I shot sitting against the wall of my room that I currently use. The reason for this was that I got a much larger bed, and there wasn’t room for me to film against the wall I had been previously using. Among this episode featuring a first for something, it was also the last episode I made on my shitty laptop computer. I think it had 512 MB of RAM, which was slow as shit. So slow that the playback on videos on my editing software would stutter and freeze at times, which is why a dissolve that I never intended to be in the episode made it into the final cut (it’s at the “Are you threatening me” part).
Episode 8: Tomb Of The Werewolf (UNCENSORED)
Original Air Date: 8/27/2012
The first episode I made with my current desktop computer, and updated video editing software. I didn’t switch programs, just upgraded from Sony Vegas 8.0 to 11.0. But the most notable aspect of this episode, is that it’s the first appearance of a voice in the background of the on camera Evil Steve segments which would later become Thing 2.
Episode 9: Carnosaur 2
Original Air Date: 9/28/2012
Here’s another one that was way too long. It was about the same length as the review for the first Carnosaur movie, but this one just felt really dragged out. Meh, oh well. There’s a couple funny bits in here, and there’s a little more of an off screen Thing 2 in here as well. And this episode was also when I started to consistently use clips in the ending credits instead of just a black screen.
Episode 10: Monster Dog
Original Air Date: 10/17/2012
In case anyone is wondering, the reason that a TV randomly appears behind me from this season on is because I bought a new TV for my living room, and moved the TV that used to be there into my room. And the reason I (obviously as a joke) sloppily pasted a picture of the artwork for Monster Dog over the DVD of American Psycho was just a little inside joke for myself, as the first time I saw either of those movies I rented them both on VHS the same night. Also I didn’t own a copy of the DVD yet, because at the time it was a little hard to find. I think. In this episode, the voice that would eventually become Thing 1 also makes it’s first appearance, and the shtick of him becoming angry and abusive towards Evil Steve. As violent as Thing 1 gets towards Steve, it’s funny to me to see that it all started with just throwing some tomatoes. And that’s not the only first appearance here either. This episode also marks the first appearance of Cyndi the corpse, which was going to be a prop in the movie I was planning on making earlier that year, but ended up having to bail on. Just as well, since the corpse didn’t look nearly as realistic as it did in the picture on the website that I ordered it from anyways. And the scream I make when she falls on top of me is at least 75% genuine. That shit fucking hurt.
Episode 11: Ticks
Original Air Date: 11/8/2012
The thing about this episode that stands out the most to me is this is the first time I played with the cookie cutter effect on my editing software, which was used in an unnecessary and overly long skit with a weak punchline. I play two different characters on screen at once, and even add a third at one point. I was just having fun with the newly found editing technique that I discovered, thanks mainly to instructional Youtube videos. I mention this because it would later be put to good use when I would have Thing 1 and Thing 2 appear on screen at the same time.
Episode 12: Psycho Holocaust
Original Air Date: 11/28/2012
Probably around the time I was a few episodes into the second season of Evil Steve At The Movies I got a message on the Evil Steve Facebook page from the director of photography from the movie. He told me that the makeup artist had found my review on Youtube and had told him about it. They both loved my review and said that they couldn’t agree more with my opinion of the film. I thought that was…pretty damn awesome.
Episode 13: Carnosaur 3
Original Air Date: 12/21/2012
Well, first off, this is a good 10 minutes shorter than the other Carnosaur reviews that I did. I think it was because it was around this episode when I started to get a much better feel for pacing, and I didn’t feel the need to show or make a joke of every scene in the movie, and I could just sum up long scenes with a few sentences instead. It’s just too bad a lot of my jokes kinda fall flat here, especially the awkward silence style of jokes. It would still be a while before I really defined my style of humor for the show, as it’s still kind of all over the place here. And of course, this is finally where Thing 1 and Thing 2 first appear on camera. I don’t remember the exact thought process behind their character designs, but it basically consisted of me throwing something together with the existing costumes and props that I had. Funny to think of it now, as I can’t imagine them looking any other way. Well, except for Thing 2, who occasionally has a different clown head.